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Smart and single?

Dear Mr Mountie

I have 2 questions:

  1. How did you get so smart?
  2. Are you single?

Thanks

Hopeful Brit

Dear Brit

Although the easy, and lazy answer would be “I think — therefore I’m single”, I will take a few minutes out of my busy schedule to properly answer your question, after all - what would I be without you, my devotees?

To start with your first question: The reason I got the reputation for being “smart” was that I read books, always took plenty of exercise, ate all my vegetables, never engaged in unorthodox or discouraged activities behind any bike-shed and always listened to my elders.

The answer to your second question is alarmingly similar to the first one.

Yours Truly

Mr Mountie

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