The three Questions on Uncle Tweeds lips this week are:
did Jigoro Kano, the inventor of Judo, fondly known as “Kano the Odoriferous”, get the recipe for his “Foul Smelling Liniment” from Colonel Peter Baron, the massage therapist and physical culturalist living in the Hawaiian Islands?
Would a practitioner of Judo, smeared in this foul liniment beat a master of Pa Kua Chang “The Chinese Internal Method for Superior Health and Devastating Self-Defense” ?
And what would happen if a sumo wrestler were to fight a Judo man?
Question one and two shall forever be shrouded in mystery, but Uncle Tweed found the answer to the third one in the marvelous essay “Judo Versus Wrestling” by Hayward Nishioka. It starts off with the wonderfully emotive:
“The wrestler -having quickly disposed of his first four judomen - stood before the fifth opponent, glaring like a wild animal about to pounce on his prey. “Boo!” the crowds jeered! “That’s not judo!” “Do judo, not wrestling!” shouted another.”
Later we learn a useful Japanese phrase for use if you see a sumo wrestler in action: “el-dkara tsuoi ne!” which means “He sure is strong.”
Although Judo is more aesthetically pleasing than wrestling, Hayward Nishioka concludes that
“most judo men are no match for a professional sumo man, even if the judo man is a black belt of world competition caliber.”
Uncle Tweed knows that neither of them would stand a chance against Mr T, however.